The Kids Are (Maybe) Alright Part 1: Mileage Will Vary

Ideally, weddings are the creation of a vision –the wedding couples’ vision –like auteurs in cinema. They dream, direct and with the help of a production team, bring that vision to reality. We’d like to think we’re a part of that vision, giving you a venue to match your vision. But there’s also the less-than-ideal reality: wedding planning often involves compromises and at time, tough calls. Over the years, one of the toughest decisions we’ve noticed a couple has to make is whether or not to allow young children at their wedding.

Convincing you one way or the other is not the purpose of this series. Instead, let’s focus on something we can hopefully agree on: people on either side of this argument tend to have strong opinions on the matter.

About a year ago, The NY Times ran a story that described two widely different experiences involving kids at weddings. In one, the flower girl forgets to drop the rose petals from her basket as she’s walking done the aisle, only to remember once she reaches he top and upends the entire basket of rose petals onto the floor. In another scene, a young ring-bearer decides to relieve himself by a nearby shrubbery while he’s halfway down the aisle –much to the dismay and hilarious delight of the guests. Was either event funny? Adorable? Distracting? A nuisance? That mileage will vary person-to-person.

Everyone has their own personal threshold for what’s adorable and what’s problematic. That’s what makes this such a tricky decision. One person’s “oh, look at that. So adorable!” Is another’s “seriously? Why did they even allow kids here?” It’s not even a binary between being the type of person that likes kids or doesn’t. A person could love children and still think they’re distracting for a formal event. So where does that leave you the person wondering if having children at their wedding is right for them? Or (more likely) you’ve already made up your mind and are wondering how to tell everyone and smooth over any social fallout.

Over the next couple of weeks we’ll offer advice for either decision. How to avoid those pitfalls and stand your ground with dissenting opinions. Next week, we’ll cover those who decide having kids at their weddings is not for them.

Until then, have a great week, and may your wedding planning be fun and stress-free!

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